¡Páguenme, asquerosos campesinos!

(Source: sirmitchell)

calikalie:

46 SCENES FROM 46 EPISODES OF PARKS AND RECREATION

ELSA: Welcome to the Quiet Corn. My name is Elsa Clack. Breakfast is served between 5:30 and 6:15am.
APRIL: What if we sleep to a normal hour?
ELSA: Well, that would be very rude of you. May I take your breakfast order? We have hard-boiled eggs, homemade tomato slices with dry seed and leek jam and your choice of German muffin.
RON: The fuck is a German muffin?

3.08, “Camping”

calikalie:

46 SCENES FROM 46 EPISODES OF PARKS AND RECREATION

RON: Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons. Behold! The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. I’ve been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include…Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property Rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Haircuts: there are three acceptable haircuts - high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son?

3.01, “Go Big or Go Home”

(Source: )

(Source: masterofkarateandfriendship)